Shrove Tuesday Liturgy

Pancake Procession (1)

Pancake Procession (2)

Shrove Tuesday Terminology

Shrove Cloning News Release

What is a Shrove?

Links to Shrove Tuesday around the world.

Read Guestbook Sign

In the midst of the discussions from which these pages were taken, the following post was received.  It purports to be a news release from the University of Saskatchewan, and as such sheds new light on the ongoing attempts to preserve the dwindling shrove population.

Organization: University of Saskatchewan Communications
Email: communications.office@usask.ca
Published: Wednesday, 10-Feb-1999 10:32:08 CST
FOR RELEASE TUESDAY, 16-Feb-1999
99-13-02-OTHER
NEW CLONING SUCCESS
SCIENTISTS CLAIM NO "MORAL" PROBLEMS

A team of Canadian and Australian scientists, working in concert while in their own countries, announced on Friday that they had reached their goal, and are now working to spread the knowledge and bring it to use in other countries as well.
Researchers at the University of Saskatoon in Saskatchewan have been working in concert with researchers at the Ipswich Campus of the University of Queensland in Australia toward new advances in cloning.  Throughout, they were guided by an ecumenical group of Lutheran, United, Roman Catholic, Anglican and other clergy about the moral and ethical meanings of cloning.  They announced on Saturday that they have developed a cross between the marsupial Shrove and the North American Shrove.  The marsupial Shrove was rapidly becoming an endangered species on its home continent due to massive overhunting, the Shrove having lost its connection to the Christian churches there.  Due to "Pop" types of spirituality, it had become a very popular sign of good luck, and even with the growing sales of artificial "Shroves" made of plastic, the drop in the Shrove population there has been drastic.  The North American Shrove population had fared better, due to the declining interest in spirituality and the church in North America, but with the growth of New Age sects, and the revived interest in liturgical matters (such as the once well-known and attended Shrove Tuesday processions) ecologists had become concerned for the North American Shrove as well.
The newly developed strain of Shrove, which the scientists have as yet not given a name, is expected to fare well in the wild on both continents.  As the new Shrove is marsupial, it is expected that the young will be better able to withstand the extremes of cold weather in Canada, being better protected by the parent.  At the same time, it retains the ability of the North American Shrove (which is actually closely related to the beaver, another north American animal) to build it's own entirely enclosed dwelling, which can only be reached through a passage that is usually hard for predators to find.  Also, from the marsupial shrove this new strain retains the ability to survive with lower water intake, making it both more adaptable to the back country of Australia and to the areas of North America which have little water.
At the same time the development of this new strain of Shrove was announced, the Wheat Board of Saskatchewan announced a program to support development of new commercial Shrove production facilities in the province.  The amount of money they will commit has not yet been decided, as there is still research to do regarding the viability of Shrove production as a province-based business.  The government also announced that discussions are ongoing with large commercial Shrove processors, with the intent of building facilities in Saskatchewan to retain as much of the business as possible.  Australian officials will not make any statements regarding commercial Shrove raising there, but have said that they intend to introduce this new strain of Shrove into the areas where the marsupial Shrove has become scarce.

For more information, please contact:

Milo Gladmar
Research & Development Office
(306) 966-5600 ext. 703

The above news release was received with the note below attached, sent by an Anglican clergy couple who asked their names be removed to protect their identity.

Dear Ray: You may find interesting this most informative e-mail re:  the ecumenical decisions as to the doctrine of shrove cloning.  We  intend to forward this information to our Bishop for her further   edification and as proof of our own determination to continue our  theological education despite strictures.  Inasmuch as you are  indubitably a first class theologian we feel it appropriate to write  first to you re our concern, as yet unaddressed by the church, of the danger to haggis living in palm trees which are cut down to make palm crosses.  I have even heard rumours to the effect that upon the traditional burning of the crosses to provide for the Imposition of Ashes, purple feathers have been found amongst the blackened bits  which  remained.  We therefore seek further information as to the plight of the purple feathered haggis who are indigenous to the common palm tree from which our African palm crosses come.  Is there a way of determining, in fact, whether or not the haggis has become homeless or worse for the sake of our Palm Sunday liturgy?  We await the answer with bated breath.